
Sleep
When you close your eyes and turn off your conscious mind, nothing can touch you. This is how I get away from it all; how I escape responsibility and the stress of dealing with my family and with myself. I've been doing it since the first time I used a knife to cut an orange and accidentally cut my finger instead; I was 5.
Now, I'm a sleep expert. I can turn off reality anytime I want and sometimes I can't even control it.
One mid-afternoon, I painfully slapped my leg repeatedly to keep from falling asleep at the wheel. In grade 11, I would fall asleep in the middle of private tutoring sessions. My classes didn't stand a chance. The instant I decided something was boring, sleep crept into the room. I'm even writing this note in an effort to stay awake.
But I don't want to sleep anymore, I want to get things done.
My first instinct to all my problems is not to deal with it. If I talked to someone about my issues then I didn't know where to start and if I started then I wouldn't know how to explain it. It's this cycle of frustration I try to avoid. But the problems never go away. It just keeps piling up like junk in an attic and until the ceiling caves in from the weight, I feel problem free.
Sleep is a sure way to die.
0 comments:
Post a Comment